tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67432426710981313722024-02-20T12:48:20.675-06:00Bethie At HomeBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-6883396260265872152011-12-30T02:05:00.001-06:002011-12-30T02:11:07.196-06:00A New Thing"Do not remember the former things,<br />
Nor consider the things of old.<br />
Behold, I will do a new thing,<br />
Now it shall spring forth;<br />
Shall you not know it?<br />
I will even make a road in the wilderness <br />
And rivers in the dessert." <br />
Isaiah 43:18-19 <br />
<br />
Christmas brings a flood of new things, and with it a mad rush for new storage and making room. This year, in effort to make room, each of my children has a large bag which they must fill with toys for the "poor children." Sometimes, parting with the old is difficult. The process takes days of hard work, rearranging, and redefining spaces. My children are prone to complaining and crying through the experience, but as they see the final results take shape, their hearts begin to show gratitude. They give their once treasured toys away as if it was their idea in the beginning.<br />
<br />
This is the same way we go through spiritual change. The Lord suggests a change, and we baulk. We submit, but we are sometimes reluctant to the process, because it hurts. As His plan unfolds, we see the beauty and the joy He intends for us, and we are filled with gratitude. We walk into the new realms He lays out for us as if we planned to go there all along. He smiles on us as we learn to trust Him in the process of sanctification. He is a good Father, full of loving kindness. <br />
<br />
Today I realized, the Lord has been doing a new thing in our lives! I wrote a letter, and while re-reading it, I was astounded at how many times I had used the word "new." Our recent (November 2008) church plant is called "<i>New</i> Covenant Communities;" we have a <i>new</i> home; Thomas has a <i>new</i> job; we are about to start a <i>new</i> business; we have some significant <i>new</i> friendships; and some beautiful old friendships are turning a <i>new</i> corner!<br />
<br />
The past five years have been years of incredible, uncomfortable, and overwhelming change and transition. We have had our moments of joy and happiness through all the change, but I would be lying if I didn't say, it has been hard. Recently, though, I sense the Lord speaking of a time of peace. I am excited and grateful and humbled at His care for us. This new thing He is doing has been a deep work in us. He has made room in our hearts and our home for an abundance I could not have hoped for before.<br />
<br />
I love that He is not finished and moves us from glory to glory. As my dear husband says, "He is the God of the process." And so, I will throw off all that entangles and run with endurance the race that is set before me, looking to the author and perfector of my faith who does all things well! May He find us faithful to share what He has given us and hold our treasures with open hands for His good purposes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-64601435693052141962011-11-15T23:56:00.004-06:002011-11-16T00:48:36.263-06:00Boy With A Ball--10 year tribute<br />
This year <a href="http://www.boywithaball.com/">Boy With A Ball</a> (<a href="http://www.boywithaball.com/">BWAB</a>) celebrates ten years as an organization established to build young leaders and train others to help their young people grow to full potential. My husband, Thomas, and I became friends through our involvement with this movement and the church <a href="http://www.boywithaball.com/">BWAB</a> started from. The founder, Jamie Johnson, performed our marriage ceremony eight and a half years ago. We are grateful for all the ways the Lord worked through Jamie and our experiences with <a href="http://www.boywithaball.com/">BWAB</a> to bring us from glory to glory. Below is a slightly light-hearted top ten list of favorite memories from our time spent in <a href="http://www.boywithaball.com/">BWAB</a>. Since many of you won't know the context of these memories, I'll extend each one with parenthetical comments! And please check out their web-site when you finish reading!<br />
<br />
Enjoy!<br />
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The Hernandez top 10 favorite Boy With a Ball memories</div>
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10. Watching helplessly as James wrestled with some guys in our living room, which resulted in a hole in the wall! (They later patched up and painted!) [These were a few guys who stayed after a BWAB meeting and were just goofing off.]<br />
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9. The night Thomas had to ask Colleen, a teenager in the youth group, to stop playing “footsie” with him under the table…she says she thought it was the table leg! [Thomas had just taken a job as youth pastor at our church, and this could have been an uncomfortable moment--fortunately Colleen can laugh at the memory too!]<br />
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8. The day Thomas asked Beth if he could help her grade papers, upon which Thomas discovered an error in her answer key, and to this day will not let the fact that she struggles with her 7’s times tables go! [This was just before a BWAB meeting. I had a stack of papers I was trying to get through. I made an error because I was nervous about a nice, good looking guy offering to do something so tedious; no one had ever asked to help me grade papers before--I had to beg a great many people--Thomas and I were just becoming friends.]<br />
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7. Turning off the television during the half time show of the super-bowl to pray for Anna with a large group of young people and a few of their parents, fortuitously missing Paula-Abdul’s wardrobe malfunction. [Unfortunately Anna, a good friend and BWAB colleague, had gotten ill while on the road. She called us to pray for her during the half-time, so Thomas figured we'd better all pray for her right then. We didn't find out what we missed until the next day. We were so grateful, the Lord had rescued us from a very awkward moment with about 40 young people!]<br />
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6. The day Thomas went with Beth to hang out with the “skater-kids” from her class. We went to talk to the youth pastor at a local church, and Thomas, had to help Beth explain Boy With a Ball, because she got nervous. [Thomas was new to BWAB, so it was funny that I got nervous...but again, I was with a good looking guy who I was beginning to like a lot...notice a trend?!]<br />
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5. Taking Emiliano to El Campo, TX to see Chris graduate from Bible school. [Emiliano was a teenager who has been a great friend to our family. He is now a worship pastor in Mississippi. He and Chris are some of the founding members of BWAB.]<br />
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4. Jamie taking Thomas aside to ask him what he thought about Beth. [This is where Thomas started to realize there might be something more to our relationship than just friendship! THANK YOU, Jamie!!]<br />
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3. The after camp party we hosted in 2004, when Michelle came and shared her story with Beth and Thomas. [Michelle was a young person who was severely at risk for not making it on any success list. Today, thanks mainly to the prayers and devoted efforts of Jamie and his wife Kathy and our friend Anna, Michelle is a beautiful wife and mother. She would make anyone's successful people list.]<br />
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2. Watching the “tribes” Thomas set up for the CCSA youth group, “Epic,” make a real difference in young people realizing their part in the body of Christ. [Thomas decided to take a different approach to youth ministry based on the ideas and beliefs about relationship and young people promoted in BWAB. He built smaller groups within the larger group that allowed for every young person to have weekly and sometimes daily contact with one adult leader and one teen leader. Every teen leader in those groups has grown into a mighty person of faith, successful in their job fields and community. It was definitely a God-idea.]<br />
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1. Sitting with Shelbee as an adult, one of Beth’s first students--the first student Beth ever shared the gospel with, late at night listening to her heart and her prayers to ask Jesus to rescue her and help her to follow Him. [This vulnerable moment that Thomas and I were able to share together with a student who I love as one of my own children was more moving than almost any other story I could ever tell. It was a moment of grace and filled with God's profound goodness. I went to a conference recently where the theme was "God's Disruptive Goodness." Getting this call in the middle of the night counts as that.]</div>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-70915855340337083322010-11-18T00:20:00.000-06:002010-11-18T00:21:45.020-06:00Wisdom from above<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> 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Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">As a 19 year old American college student, the one thing I knew I wanted was to go to Intervarsity Chapter Camp and learn to lead a Bible Study. That desire made me a less than typical 19 year old, but I am forever grateful for the week of training that acted as a catalyst for the course my life has taken. I longed to be a leader, a good leader. I wanted to take an active part in leading people to know Jesus better. After attending Chapter Camp, I realized I had a long way to go in leading other people, especially in leading others to understand the Bible. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The first passage I was assigned to break down inductively for a small group of peers was the story of the Demon Possessed man who was healed in Mark Chapter 5. At the time, I couldn’t seem to ask questions that drew deep answers from anyone about that passage, mainly because I was at a loss about what great lesson I could take from a story about Jesus casting out demons and sending them into a herd of pigs who ran off a cliff! To me, it was sort of a long-shot to come away with more than, “Wow, that’s an odd story.” Truthfully, I was wrestling in my heart with what I would do if I ever encountered a demon, and I had no answers for anyone, nor questions that drew answers from anyone! </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I spent the summer using my brother as a practice buddy, leading him through studies on the Bible that had much more relevance in my mind. I can’t say that I felt ready to lead a Bible study the following school year, but I cannot recall one study as painful as that first study I led on Mark 5. For years, I would flit back to that passage and wonder, “what would I do with it now?” Sometimes I would imagine myself being more honest about my struggle with the passage. Other times I pictured a deep discussion about spiritual warfare. Something always gnawed at me about the story, though. I knew there was some deep insight that eluded me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">For sure, the straight forward message of Jesus’ power and willingness to bring freedom to the captives of darkness stands large in the story…but why the pigs? Why did they run off the cliff? What happened with the demons after that? I remained confused about why that story was relevant in the Living Word of God.<span style=""> </span>I had a few conversations with the Lord about it over the years. I used to be embarrassed at my inability to draw life from the passage. The Lord helped me see the humor in that scene from Chapter Camp, and I found peace in knowing I didn’t have to have all the answers. Really, I let go of it all, choosing to allow the Lord his mystery! </p> <p class="MsoNormal">This past summer, exactly 16 years later, my father-in-law gave us a MP3 dramatization of the New Testament. We listened to it in the car nearly every day, running errands or going on adventures. It took us a couple months to finish. At the end of the reading of Revelation, the producers of the recording shared testimonies of how their ministry has been making an impact around the world. The stories brought me to tears. Then, to my great excitement and astonishment, there was a story about the passage in Mark 5! </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The group “Faith Comes by Hearing” produce this dramatization in languages around the world. One indigenous African tribe with no written language had an opportunity to listen to the Bible in their own language for the first time. They were troubled by the story of Jesus in Mark 5, commenting, “I thought Jesus was good!?” It seems that they could not understand why Jesus would destroy the livelihood of the pig farmer. In their culture, a large heard of pigs would be the equivalent of several hundred thousand dollars in American culture. After arguing and discussing, the elders of the tribe finally came to a consensus on the message Jesus meant to convey in this act. The demon possessed man reminded them of an outsider in their own tribe. And although he was troublesome and annoying to the average tribes-person, to God, the life of one person, no matter his situation, was worth a great deal. Jesus was making a statement on the value of human life. This one man’s seemingly wasted life was worth more than anyone else was willing to pay. But Jesus took the time to help him and show the world that individuals are more important than we realize. This was the deeper message I longed to hear and know about this passage. I wept. I wept for joy and for gratitude and for a new understanding of what Jesus paid for my life. I wept because Jesus loved me enough to answer a question I had laid to rest. I wept because this was a new proof that the Word of God is active and living and useful and relevant. I wept because I felt connected to a group of people in Africa that I have never met. I wept because I felt the Lord’s pleasure.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I share this story, still laughing that anyone would assign that passage to someone new to inductive Bible study, but more grateful than I can describe that they assigned it to me, so I could hear an answer 16 years later. It reminds me of Proverbs 25:2—“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter.”<span style=""> </span>What answers has God concealed that your heart is searching out?</p>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-22450373157000259122010-10-21T19:20:00.003-05:002010-10-21T19:26:37.768-05:00A Goodnight Prayer for My Children<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> 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{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Dear Lord,<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Please bless my children and keep them as they go to sleep tonight. Help them to know You and walk with You. Please fill them with your Spirit and comfort them. Minister to their needs and help them to hear Your voice. I plead the blood of Jesus over them and ask You to protect them as they sleep. Help them to have sweet dreams and to be filled with Your peace. Help them to love one another and be a blessing to all those around them. Help them to live for You and give generously out of the abundance You have given them. Help them to follow Your example and grow in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man just as Jesus did here on earth as a child. Help us to be good parents, and where we fail or fall short, be there for them as their Heavenly Father. Help them to respond to You in faith and see You as the good Father you are. Help them to respond to Your love and be close to You all the days of their lives.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. </p>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-27637355313588330862010-09-25T08:53:00.003-05:002010-09-25T09:09:14.525-05:00Banana BreadSometimes, the simplest gesture goes a long way in creating friendships, building bridges, and making amends. Especially if it is heartfelt. My favorite way to attempt all of these is by baking Banana Bread. So in effort to give you a cyber-gift, I will pass along my favorite recipe! I always double the recipe below. 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mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Banana Bread</span> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">(simple and wonderful)</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Preheat the oven to 325°</p> <br /> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Ingredients:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">3 large ripe bananas</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">1 cup sugar</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">1 egg</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">4 Tbs. butter</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">1 cup all purpose flour</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">½ cup whole wheat flour (can substitute white flour if there is no wheat flour handy)</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">1 tsp salt</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">1 tsp baking soda</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Pam spray (or some other cooking spray, or butter, or grease---for the pan)</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Directions:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Preheat oven to 325°. Spray 9x5 inch loaf pan with Pam spray; set aside. In a bowl smash bananas well (banana mash should equal 1 cup or a bit more). Beat in sugar, then egg and butter. In another bowl, stir together flours, salt, and baking soda; add banana mixture and stir just until all flour is moistened. Pour batter into prepared pan.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Bake for 55 to 60 minutes. (It begins to pull away from sides of pan when done, and a toothpick inserted in center of loaf comes out clean, or the top bounces back when poked with a finger.) Banana bread always tastes better when made at least one day ahead. Wrap tightly in foil after it is cooled and refrigerate. (Although, this doesn’t often make it to the fridge after coming out of the oven!)</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">P.S. One could add nuts or raisins, but I find most people (myself included) prefer it without!</p> <br /><br />"Let each of us please <i>his</i> neighbor for <i>his</i> good, leading to edification." Romans 15:2Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-90774937176691497492010-09-13T17:13:00.002-05:002010-09-13T17:14:53.796-05:00Deliverance<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> 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</span>despair</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style=""> </span>uncertainty</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style=""> </span>frustration</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style=""> </span>self-pity</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">To the “symphony true”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">To the “sigh of the oppressed creature”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">To the “as I believe the sun has risen”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 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</style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">One late afternoon while I was working on my masters and interning at an inner-city middle school, I went out running. Running or walking outdoors always clears my head, gives me an opportunity to hear God, and helps me process my thoughts in a healthy way. While I ran, I wrestled with the hurt and hardships of life, particularly those in my students’ lives. I don’t recall the details of the long hard day, but I clearly recall asking God, “If good is stronger than evil, why does it look like evil is constantly winning?” Instantly, I was reminded of Miami.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The <a href="http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4182/is_19961014/ai_n10099692/">Miami Beaches are in trouble</a>. The sea reportedly erodes the <a href="http://www.artificialreefs.org/ScientificReports/FSMiami.pdf">Miami shoreline</a> 14 to 25 feet each year! The local and federal governments spend <a href="http://www.co.miami-dade.fl.us/derm/library/erosion_control_budget_plan-10-11.pdf">millions of dollars every year</a> on replenishing the sand in order to protect the people, the city structures, and the tourism. The problems associated with this issue are political, environmental, and personal for anyone or anything connected to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beach_nourishment">Miami area</a>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I first came across this information in an Environmental Studies class during my undergraduate work. Initially it struck me as an interesting fact, something to tell people during a conversation lull, or maybe an attention grabber for teaching Earth Science to 8<sup>th</sup> graders. Little did I realize the life lesson this battle between Nature and Humankind could offer.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As the <a href="http://www.topix.com/album/detail/miami-beach-fl/TA093T9G4SPGU0VH">images of truckloads of sand</a> dumping on the Florida coastline filled my head, the Holy Spirit impressed a question on my heart: <i style="">Over time who will win, the ocean or the people dumping sand?</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I answered, “The ocean!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The response astounded me: <i style="">The ocean is like My Love—constant, enduring, continually eroding the sands of evil from the world, no matter what grand efforts the enemy makes. The enemy is frantic and failing. He has no lasting power. And like the sands of Miami, he will not stand the test of time or My Love. <o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am often in awe of this picture the Lord gave me, now over 13 years ago. I have been asking Him lately what it looks like to walk in power, the kind of power He promised with his Holy Spirit. The answer is to walk in His constant love, to watch with Him as the sands of evil erode and all that is left are the deep oceans of His enduring love.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="">The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, than the mighty waves of the sea.</i><span style=""> </span><span style=""></span>Psalm 93:4</p> Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-20158905433961561432010-06-21T08:22:00.007-05:002010-06-21T08:55:15.748-05:00A Threefold Cord<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" 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.5in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.WordSection1 {page:WordSection1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> </p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">I could count the years</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-style: italic;">By the miles we drove side by side</span></p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the songs we sang together</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the sunsets that warmed our hearts</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the laughter and the tears</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the children’s triumphs</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the homes we made together</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the jobs accomplished or left undone</p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">I could number the seasons</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-style: italic;">By the goodnight and goodbye kisses</span></p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the hello glad-to-see-you hugs</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the trials we walked through</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the unexpected joys </p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the hoped for dreams </p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the times of proven faith </p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> By the ways we failed </p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">But the deeper record of passing time</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-style: italic;">Is how Love grew real and true</span></p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> How It gave meaning to each emprise</p><p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> How It faithfully knew It’s end</p><p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> How we submitted </p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> How It built something out of the brokenness</p><p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> How It wove It’s thread of forgiveness and care</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"> How every moment It bound us together </p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">In a process meant to make us one.</p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p></p><p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
<br /> And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. ~Ecclesiastes 4:12
<br /></p> Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-20624442227633170122010-04-04T22:46:00.002-05:002010-04-04T22:58:26.664-05:00A Resurrection Story<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> 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table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Sixteen years ago, I sat in my rocking chair in my college dorm room reading my Bible. I sensed the Holy Spirit ask me to read about Abraham. I turned to the story of Abraham sacrificing his son on Mount Moriah and read about Abraham’s willingness to give up what he loved most, his only son, to be obedient to the God he chose to follow. Then God’s spirit asked me, “Would you be willing to give up what you love most for me?” </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Sure,” I replied.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I don’t want you to move to Colorado.” His words meant more than a move to a different state. They meant giving up a good young man, who I loved. They meant choosing something that felt too hard for me: being alone. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“No! That’s not the plan!” I said out loud. And then the whole room grew still as God’s presence loomed over me. The birds fell silent and the traffic sounds stopped and I felt the fear of God in a new way. I had just said, “No,” to the God of the Universe, my creator. Quickly, and tearfully, I changed my answer. “Okay,” I said. I chose Him, hoping, as He did with Abraham, that He would give the young man back. Choosing God hurt so badly that day.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately, after I felt clear that the young man would not come back into my life, I snuck out of God’s presence here and there over the next five years and looked to appease my loneliness in new romantic relationships. All of them left me miserable and frantic. When the relationships ended, I would run back to Jesus for help and comfort, which He gave freely, but I would leave His presence again, to settle my wandering heart rather than trust Him to help me. I was weak and not fully convinced that He could truly fulfill me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Finally, when I was twenty-three, I broke up with a young man who by all my standards was the best. It was a miserable relationship that I could not make work, no matter what I tried. A few months prior to this break up, I had a <a href="http://bethie-at-home.blogspot.com/2010/02/dream.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">dream</span></a> that left me convinced of Jesus’ love. That <a href="http://bethie-at-home.blogspot.com/2010/02/dream.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">dream</span></a> was the only thing that got me through the sadness. I told Jesus on the night of the break-up, “The hurt is so deep.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He said to me, “Yes, but my love is deeper.” I was left with the freedom to morn. And as I processed, I looked back over the trail of broken hearts left behind me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I told Jesus one evening soon after the break up, “I don’t know if I want to say this, because I know you are going to take me seriously, but I don’t want any more broken hearts. I don’t want to date anyone else until it’s the man you want me to marry.” I was scared to give Jesus that much of my life, my heart, and my future. By putting that on Him, I was making a statement of faith: <span style="font-style: italic;">I believe You can take care of me better than I can take care of myself. I will wait for You to tell me when the time is right, because I am not happy with my choices.</span><i style=""> </i>I knew it was the right thing for me to do, but letting go of the ability to choose for myself was scary and felt like suffering.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have since come to believe that we will suffer in this life no matter what we do, but that if we choose to suffer for the sake of Jesus by letting go of our desires in order to follow Him, the suffering will always lead to joy. If we choose to grab happiness for ourselves first at the cost of relationship with Jesus, we will find suffering that leads to emptiness. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Four years later, I found myself in a strong friendship with Thomas. I was beginning to see the relationship head down the old familiar path of romance, and I sought Jesus. Jesus told me to spend more time with Him than with Thomas, and to not spend time alone with Thomas. After a few exhausting weeks of waking up at 5:00am to have 2 hour prayer and bible reading times so I could spend an hour on the phone with Thomas at night, I soon realized I had to tell Thomas I could not spend as much time with him. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Although we were not formerly dating, it felt like breaking up. I told Jesus how hard this was, that I didn’t want to give Thomas up, that I had given up everything for Jesus already; But it came back to this decision: would I be willing to give up what I loved most for the sake of obedience and relationship with my God? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Over the previous four years I had suffered through loneliness, and I let Jesus meet me. He had drawn me into friendships that were deep and fulfilling. He had met me in the places friendship could not venture and left me with hope. I had never been left disappointed or hurt in giving up my life for my Lord. So in light of this, I chose to lay my relationship with Thomas on the alter before God. I told Thomas I could not spend as much time with him, and then went on to fully avoid him for two months because I did not trust myself to follow Jesus if I spent any time with Thomas.
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Toward the end of that time, I had a dream that made me sure Thomas was the man God intended me to marry. I didn’t want to move forward on this thought though, without certainty. So I prayed, “If this dream is from You, Lord, then have Thomas approach me with the intention of marriage. I will not pursue him, but if he asks me to marry him or to date him with the intention of marriage, I will know he hears from you and that this dream was from you.” </p> <p class="MsoNormal">This story has so many beautiful details for me, but to spare you pages of those and get to the point, Thomas approached me with the intention of marriage within a week of the dream (after a near death experience on his part that left him realizing he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life without me). It was a surreal and amazing moment, full of romance and all the things my heart had ever desired. It was the unbelievable moment where death turned into resurrection. Eight months later Thomas and I were married in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Today is Easter. We traditionally celebrate Easter in the Christian Church as the remembrance of the day Jesus came alive again. For the forty days of Lent prior to Easter, we remember that His death on the cross meant our salvation and the payment for our sins; but on Easter, we step from death into life. We are awakened into a new covenant, or promise, between God and those who choose to believe that Jesus is real and alive. The promise is one of Love: If you believe Me, give your life to Me, and love Me, I will give you abundant and eternal life; I will give you hope and peace and a purpose; I will prove myself to you and fulfill your heart desires; I will take the ugliness out of your life and give you beauty; I will give you My Holy Spirit to make your spirit alive with love for those around you, power to live in a way that will bring hope and joy to you, your family and all those you come in contact with, and a sound mind to help you discern order from chaos, be creative with purpose, and plan without fear of destruction so My purposes of Life will reach all the people who see you. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">As a follower of Jesus, He does all of these things for me on a daily basis. The more I give to Him, the more He gives to me, and I see examples of <i style="">resurrection</i> all around me. The clearest example of <span style="font-style: italic;">resurrection</span> in my life to date is the story of my marriage to Thomas. And today, I am grateful that I can wake up every day into that <span style="font-style: italic;">resurrection life</span>. </p> Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-13939913231025688372010-02-19T08:14:00.001-06:002010-02-19T08:16:45.584-06:00Cockroaches<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> 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gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">I cannot abide cockroaches. When I was six years old, my family moved from sunny southern California to the sunny, muggy upper panhandle of Florida. We road tripped across the lower United States, making several stops to see sights on the way. It was in a small motel in Louisiana where I experienced my first giant American Cockroach. My mother insisted we leave the motel immediately, because she could not bear the thought of roaches crawling near my then two month old brother. Since there was no other place to stop for miles, we drove all night until we arrived at our destination. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">That experience convinced me that cockroaches were the spawn of the devil. I was petrified that one would crawl on me in my sleep, so I insisted on sleeping with my Bible from that night on for weeks. I was sure that the Holy Word of God would repel them and keep me safe as I slept. With my Bible securely in my arms I felt safe from the demonic creatures bent on our destruction.<span style=""> </span>My parents paid an exterminator to come out every month, which kept the ugly vermin at bay, and left me to sleep in peace. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">As an adult, I have learned to kill them when I have to…they are one of the few animals I will kill. Killing animals of any kind just rubs me the wrong way. Even killing cockroaches gives me the chills, but it is for the greater good. It must be done. These vermin are surely a direct result of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Fall</span>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">One great aspect of being married is that my dear husband has often taken on the chore of killing roaches when he is around. (What a good strong man of God!) He finds it terribly humorous that I have such a fear of these insects, when most other bugs and pest like creatures barely faze me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Much to both our surprise, my horrible fear from childhood came back to haunt me. One night this past summer, I fell exhausted into bed after a long day. I was eight months pregnant with our third child and hoping delivery would come early. Suddenly, I woke up to hear a scratching noise behind me! I sat up and listened, thinking I was dreaming. Again, a scratching and shuffling noise startled me from somewhere around the headboard. I jumped out of bed and gently woke my husband. “Listen,” I said. He heard it and bolted out of bed. I ran for the bathroom. I peeked out in time to see him pull the cover off my pillow, grab a shoe and start whacking at the floor. “What is it?” I whispered, fearful of his response!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“A cockroach,” he replied. That dear man gave me his pillow and took mine. As a testament to how utterly exhausted we both were, we climbed back into bed and went to sleep. I spend the next day disinfecting my whole room and calling the pest control people who regularly spray our home. It seemed that after we fixed a leaky pipe outdoors on the side of the house near our bedroom, the outdoor roaches had nowhere to find water. They were looking for a new home indoors, braving the poison that usually kept them at bay! </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I still shudder to think that my head was that close to one of those icky creatures.<span style=""> </span>Thank goodness for a wonderful husband who would risk life and limb to save me from the horror. And I mean the risk quite literally! This week we found out that he is VERY allergic to cockroaches! He says I will have to fight my own battles with them from now on. 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table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">The night I had <span style="font-style: italic;">The Dream</span> that changed my whole outlook on life, I had just turned 23. I was transitioning, uncertain, and insecure. I had committed to a new home, new housemates, and a new job; I had recommitted to a church that was in transition and a romantic relationship that didn’t fit; I wanted to be loved and recognized, and I hoped beyond all hope that I was making good decisions for my future. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The night before I moved into my new home, I dreamed that I went to a restoration for the body, soul, and mind spa. (Do those exist? Are they affordable?) I checked in and was given a list of personal, individualized assignments. The most prominent assignment on the list was that I had to spend my stay completely naked. (Yes, it started out as one of “those” anxiety dreams!) For some reason I accepted this list and reluctantly followed through. In the miracle of dream-worlds, I was not just naked physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. People could look at me and see everything about me: my hopes, my fears, my faults, my strengths, my weaknesses, my aspirations and motivations, and my sins. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Mortified, I found myself sneaking around the grounds, hiding behind trees and bushes, hoping no one would notice me.<span style=""> </span>I remember the area was lovely. It was a garden of sorts, with people all over, talking and laughing. I wanted to join the fun, but I couldn’t bring myself to step out and let people see me. All of a sudden, the morning sun highlighted the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life. He was perfect, and from my hiding place I could hear him talking to the group of people around him. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">He was talking about life. The things he said made me jump with excitement. His perspectives were wonderful. He said everything I ever hoped I would hear a man say. Suddenly, I found myself in his company, and he was talking to me! I stared at him and drank in everything he told me with amazement. I had forgotten about myself, because he captivated my attention. I found myself falling in love with him. Then, I looked at myself and realized who I was. I was ashamed. He could see that I loved him. How ridiculous could I be? Why had I exposed myself? How could such a perfect man ever even think twice about me? I turned around to run away, but he pursued me. He gently grabbed my arm and turned me around. He pulled me toward himself and kissed me. He loved me, even as I was, exposed and insecure and ashamed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I woke up. My mom, who had come to help me move into my new house, was sleeping in the bed with me and I silently groaned! How could I have just dreamed up such a perfect man? Especially when sharing a bed with my mom! How embarrassing. Definitely not a dream I’d be sharing…or so I thought. I couldn’t get it out of my head. It was haunting. It hurt, because I knew the man in my dream didn’t exist, and I was trying to make a dying relationship work. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am an out-loud processor. I have to share my thoughts in order to really know what I think about them; but even so, I have many times in my life held things secret for fear of what people would think of me. Despite my insecurities, I was beginning to realize at that point in my life that keeping my weaknesses and issues secret led to unhealthy thinking and open doors for the enemy to mess with me. So when the Holy Spirit pressed me to share my dream with my new housemate, Amelia, I set aside feelings of ridiculousness and obeyed. She and I spent an hour that day analyzing the dream. She said some very insightful things, but nothing we discussed settled the agitation I felt over the dream. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">That night I prayed that the Lord would show me what it meant. It had to mean something, because it wouldn’t let me go. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The next day was Sunday. I went to church and sat toward the front-left of the small store-front church building that seated 400 to 500 people. The number of church goers had dwindled to 200 because of some transition. But we were awaiting a new pastor and his family. I had attended this church as a member since I was 19, and stayed through the transition because the people there loved me. I didn’t know what the new pastor would mean for the church. I didn’t know that I was about to enter into one of the most exciting seasons of my life.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">One of the elders stepped up to the stage after worship and read a Psalm. He then went on to talk about Jesus. He said, “Jesus is the lover of our soul. He pursues us the way a lover pursues His love. Even though we stand before him naked and exposed, He sees us and loves us. He embraces us…” As the elder spoke, I began to weep. The Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, <span style="font-style: italic;">This is the meaning of your dream. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I grew up knowing Jesus loved me. I trusted it at many important milestones in my life. But I didn’t understand that He LOVED me like that. He was the fulfillment of all of those insecurities and uncertainties. He gave me the love and the recognition I longed for. He knew me inside and out, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, and He loved me.<span style=""> </span>I was bewildered. I hardly knew how to contain my giddiness. And why would I be such a blessed recipient of this understanding? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The realization changed me immediately! No longer did I turn to jealousy, when I felt someone else was receiving the attention I wanted. No longer did I hold people around me to impossible expectations. No longer did I manipulate to get the outcomes I felt I deserved. If Jesus loved me the way I really wanted and needed to be loved, then I didn’t need people to fill the voids in my life. If I felt hurt or betrayed or insecure, I asked myself, “What is the root issue?” Every time I answered that question, I knew Jesus already met that need in me at the cross and through His resurrection! It gave me the freedom to let go and forgive. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The timing of that dream could not have been better. It carried me through betrayal of a close friend, the break-up of the romantic relationship that was going nowhere, a rough first year of teaching in a school where my administration did not have my best interest at heart, the death of a friend and mentor, along with so many other ways life confronts the new bright-eyed college graduates of this world. On one of the most trying of those days, I remember crying with two of my housemates. I told Jesus, “The pain is so deep.” He responded to my heart, <span style="font-style: italic;">Yes, but my love is deeper.</span> I felt the freedom to cry, but not despair. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Even now, over ten years later, I still go back to that dream. I am in transition. I feel we, as a family, are on a precipice of great and wonderful things. But I see that the going toward and through the wonderful things will also involve times of trial. I am tempted to feel insecure. I want someone to be proud of me, as a wife, a parent, a daughter, a friend, a Christian. It’s all silly, I know. I want to be those roles out of love, not for recognition. But the desire for recognition rears its ugly head, and I wonder if anyone notices my efforts.<span style=""> </span>As I battle in prayer, Jesus gently reminds me that He has already filled those voids in my heart. I am dearly and deeply loved by Him. As I let His words sink into my heart, I can step forward in an attitude of giving from my abundance, rather than from my lack. I can care for others the way Jesus cares for me, never thinking of myself, because my eyes are on Him. It makes all the difference. <span style=""> </span></p> Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-25783769568194418402010-02-04T17:01:00.001-06:002010-02-04T17:07:03.302-06:00The Three Quarter Mark<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> 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table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">“You’d be good at running,” He told me one early spring day my junior year in high school. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">“I don’t think so,” I replied to my friend, remembering clearly the whining I used to do in PE and cheerleading practice when we had to run laps. But, I was feeling a bit bored and out of shape, and the peer pressure was hard to resist. Plus, there was something inside me that was deeply curious and longed to try running again. I agreed to meet my friend out at the track for a “trial run.” I was sure he would have second thoughts when he actually saw me run.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That Saturday, he conveniently forgot his stopwatch. So when I ran a 100 meter <span style="font-style: italic;">dash</span> and he assured me I was fast, I reluctantly believed him and agreed to try out for track. The horrible truth came out at practice: I am not fast; far from it. My first timed mile was 15 minutes! I ended that trial out of breath and miserable, but I’ve never been a quitter. I guess I felt that agreeing to try out meant agreeing to stick with it for the season. So I continued to show up for practice and even go the extra mile (quite literally) by running early in the morning with my friend to try to get into shape. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I can’t say I had a dramatic turn around that season, or really even the next, though I did cut my mile time in half and found my pace at the middle of the pack. But the great thing about running is the way God used it to speak to me about my spiritual life. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Every time I started to feel weary in practice a song based from Hebrew 12:1 started reeling in my mind: “Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us run, run, run, run with perseverance; let us run, run, run the race marked out for us; let us throw off everything that hinders, and let us run, run, run the race marked out for us.” That song started to have real meaning for me. I began to understand the battle that we face every day to get rid of the things that hold us back from the purposes before us. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">My dad made a habit of pointing out the spiritual significance of physical things around us, or the spiritual meaning behind favorite stories. Because of that, it was second nature for me to consider running a physical representation of the struggles I faced spiritually.<span style=""> </span>Only a few months prior to going out for track, I had given Jesus all of my heart and life and committed to following Him rather than myself. I was excited, but I was out of shape for the spiritual journey. He helped me understand through running what things like avoiding sin, longsuffering, and the joy of the finish meant from a big picture perspective. He taught me how to listen to a coach and be part of a team. He gave me the tools and gifts I needed and showed me how to practice using them so I would not lose them. As I grew stronger physically, I also grew stronger spiritually. I began to find victory in places I only once knew defeat. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">One of my greatest lessons from running came years later when I was running cross country for my college team. My coach pulled me aside and told me, “Beth, you always slow down about three quarters of the way through the race, until you see the finish line. Then you give it your all and finish strong. But I don’t think you’ve ever run your best race, because you seem to give up mentally at the three fourths mark. If you could just push through that rough point and refuse to slow down, you would finish even better.” What an insightful mentor. I still marvel at how well that coach knew us and worked with us.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That day, the Holy Spirit convicted me that what my coach noticed about me in running also had spiritual significance in my prayer life. I would pray strong and believe God’s promises until I was about three fourths of the way through the trial. Then I would begin to doubt. I would stop praying as strongly and I would wonder if maybe I would ever see the other side of the trial. I confessed that I was weak in that area and I asked the Lord to help me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">My team-mates rallied around me, and in practice, they would encourage me if they saw me slowing down. I remember one friend put his hand on my back when I began to slow down as we were running the last leg of a long run up a steep hill. He didn’t push me, but just having his hand there gave me the strength I needed to keep my pace. It gave me a clear picture of what we are to be to one another in the body of Christ. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">In Hebrews 3:13 we are told to “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.”<span style=""> </span>Encouraging one another implies helping one another to keep up, to not fall back or grow weary in doing what is good. How beautiful it is when the body functions that way and we all allow one another room in our lives by giving and receiving encouragement. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">My mind wanders to these stories today as I face a three quarter mark. Will I run with perseverance? Will I let the body of Christ rally around me? Will I look to fear or worry or doubt? Or will I look to Jesus who is the author and finisher of my faith?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Psalm 123<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>1</sup> I lift up my eyes to you,
<br /> to you whose throne is in heaven. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>2</sup> As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master,
<br /> as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress,
<br /> so our eyes look to the LORD our God,
<br /> till he shows us his mercy. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>3</sup> Have mercy on us, O LORD, have mercy on us,
<br /> for we have endured much contempt. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>4</sup> We have endured much ridicule from the proud,
<br /> much contempt from the arrogant.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Psalm 121<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>1</sup> I lift up my eyes to the hills—
<br /> where does my help come from? <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>2</sup> My help comes from the LORD,
<br /> the Maker of heaven and earth. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>3</sup> He will not let your foot slip—
<br /> he who watches over you will not slumber; <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>4</sup> indeed, he who watches over Israel
<br /> will neither slumber nor sleep. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>5</sup> The LORD watches over you—
<br /> the LORD is your shade at your right hand; <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>6</sup> the sun will not harm you by day,
<br /> nor the moon by night. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>7</sup> The LORD will keep you from all harm—
<br /> he will watch over your life; <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <sup>8</sup> the LORD will watch over your coming and going
<br /> both now and forevermore.<o:p></o:p></span></p> Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-9531054010744373362009-12-31T18:47:00.003-06:002009-12-31T19:20:14.623-06:00New Year's Eve RamblingsThe thing I will remember about the last few moments of 2009 was the sunset! How lovely. It makes me long to be an artist or a photographer when I see sunsets like that. The sky is always the thing that gets me most about Texas. I came here from places with mountains, and since there are few to speak of in Texas, the sky just goes on forever and the sunsets are often fabulous. But tonight’s rivals many I have seen. The purples and roses layering together like a rumpled quilt in a fantastically comfortable bed. It reminds me, of course, of a poem by William Butler Yeats:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven<br /><br />Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,<br />Enwrought with golden and silver light,<br />The blue and the dim and the dark cloths<br />Of night and light and the half-light,<br />I would spread the cloths under your feet:<br />But I, being poor, have only my dreams;<br />I have spread my dreams under your feet;<br />Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.<br /></div><br />One thing I will remember about 2009 as a whole is the theme “Immanuel.” The idea of “God with us” has been mulling around in my head all year. And I am astounded at the complexity of that simple phrase. It is the stirring together of the ordinary with the extraordinary; the natural with the supernatural; us and God; (“together at last” as an old commercial noted about caramel and chocolate with the cookie crunch!)and it is fantastic, because it is the mark of the God who loves us. He is not a flash in the pan, dramatic God who likes to make a scene or put on a show for brief moments here and there. He is a real God who likes to sneak into the audience as our life plays out and show Himself strong on our behalf when our hearts are for Him! Then he sticks around for the ordinary everyday parts of our lives and deeply enjoys sharing each moment with us as He transforms us into the people we were always meant to be.<br /><br />For Christmas, a dear friend of mine gave me an ornament that had the word “HOPE” on the front and on the back the inscription<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">“…AND THEY WILL CALL HIM<br />Immanuel”<br />--WHICH MEANS,<br />“God with us.”<br />“AND his name WILL BE<br />the hope<br />OF ALL THE WORLD.”<br />MATTHEW 1:23; 12:21<br /></div><br />I have a feeling that the theme of 2010 will be Hope! How fun that we are always moving from glory to glory, that we continue to grow and learn as each new year comes!<br /><br />May each of you have a Happy New Year! May you find the Hope that does not disappoint, and may you be surprised by Joy around every corner!Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-6963721481312552022009-12-13T17:59:00.002-06:002009-12-13T18:03:05.742-06:00People Don't Look UpSomehow my mom could tell if something had been knocked over or spilled or in some way disturbed even if my brother and I painstakingly removed stains, straightened, or righted all our wrongs. My dad called her <span style="font-style: italic;">inspector 12</span>. She actually inherited her ability to see irregularities from my grandmother, who carried out every task with perfection and an <span style="font-style: italic;">eagle eye</span>.<br /><br />Once, though, my mom and my grandma and the US Air Force housing inspectors all missed something. Jonathan and I had what I will call a <span style="font-style: italic;">sticky hand</span> for lack of a better term. It was a stretchy toy made of sticky, gooey material with a long arm and a hand shaped end. The object of the toy was to throw out the hand while holding tightly to the arm. It would stick to whatever object it came in contact with; and if that object were small or light enough, the hand would snap back to the holder with the object attached.<br /><br />I think I was 12 when Jonathan and I were playing excitedly with this toy. The house we lived in had a high sloped ceiling in the living room with a long white beam across the high side of the slope. I don’t remember who dared who and who threw the hand at the beam, but the hand stuck and the arm was accidentally released. So there, dangling from 15 feet above, hung our sticky hand. We were terrified of my mom’s reaction, so we ran to find the yard stick and a chair. We successfully removed the sticky hand, but it left a smudge on the beam.<br /><br />We didn’t have a ladder and so the smudge stayed. Jonathan and I awaited our sure doom when my mom saw the smudge. We could imagine her saying loudly, “How am I supposed to clean that up!?!” and shuddered to think of the consequences she would dream up for us having been so irresponsible. The doom never came, though. To our amazement, she just never looked up. We thought for sure our grandma would see it on one of her visits, but she also never looked up! For three years, Jonathan and I smirked at each other in amazement over the sticky hand escapade.<br /><br />Finally, when it was time for us to move, we were sure we would hear it! When a military family leaves a base house, it has to be cleaned to inspection standard. This is such an area of stress for most military families that cleaning people who know how to clean for a military inspection make a killing, and people gladly pay to have them take care of that part of the moving process. We never once heard anyone—cleaning people, housing inspectors, anyone—remark about the smudge! When we had passed inspection, we went into our house for one last goodbye, and there Jonathan and I looked up at the beam to see the smudge STILL THERE!<br /><br />We laughed then and never said a word (good brothers and sisters stick together!), and today, between that and a certain rotten potato incident from my early twenties, I am convinced that people don’t look up unless they are trained to. So as we prepare our little first home for putting it on the market in the New Year, repainting the ceilings is last on my priority list!Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-47334914595035617902009-11-30T00:01:00.002-06:002009-11-30T00:05:11.170-06:00RestOnce, when I was 11 year s old, maybe 12, I remember bounding into our house with something important on my mind. “Mom!!” I yelled at the top of my voice, “Mom!!” Where was she? She wasn’t in the kitchen or the living-room or the study. I found her in her room on her bed, curled up with an afghan, sleeping. <span style="font-style:italic;">Why is she so tired</span>? I wondered as I proceeded to wake her up to share my important news.<br /> <br />As I watch my little ones run around with boundless energy, leaving me dizzy and hoping for a nap each afternoon, I can see the same question in their eyes: <span style="font-style:italic;">why is she so tired</span>. So I hope that all you moms out there know, the understanding does come one day. And with understanding comes gratitude for all the late nights you spent taking care of things so we could have good days!<br /><br />We’ve been discussing Sabbath Rest and The Lord’s Day in church recently. It’s gotten me thinking about rest and our culture. I won’t say much here, but how lovely that a God who never slumbers nor sleeps took a day to rest—as an example for us, to enjoy what He created, to make it clear that rest is a privilege—and offers it to us as a gift! May we all find joy in our labor, rest for our well being, and many opportunities to give joy to others.<br /><br />“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” <br /> ~JesusBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-26414749182988407852009-11-17T00:01:00.002-06:002009-11-17T00:13:38.405-06:00GratitudeThere is a story in Luke 17 about ten lepers who Jesus healed. They all called out to him and begged him for mercy, and Jesus stopped briefly to tell them to show themselves to the priest. It was the priest who could declare them “clean” or “unclean;” fit to be in society or unfit to be in society. They turned to obey Jesus and on their way they were all healed of their disease. <br /><br />Of the ten, one, so overcome with gratitude, turned back, worshiping God, and thanked Jesus. The text makes the point that this man was a Samaritan, an outsider not only because of his disease but also his racial heritage. After questioning this man about the others who were healed, Jesus tells him, “Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.” <br /><br />I have heard a number of sermons preached on this text. And some of those have come to mind recently. The sermons always get to the point with questions like<br /> <br />“What has God done for you?” <br /><br />“Are you one of the 9 who wander merrily into your state of mercy and grace forgetting the giver, or are you the one who turns back with a grateful heart, remembering that apart from Jesus you can do nothing?”<br /><br />“What part does thanksgiving play in your daily worship?”<br /><br />Gratitude is not something we can conjure or fake. It wells up deep within us when we are certain that the gift is beyond our ability to grasp for ourselves…something we always wanted, but could not attain. In the absence of true gratitude, we can always practice thankfulness. Thankfulness as a discipline makes room in our hearts for us to begin looking outside ourselves for the good things in our lives. God does not hold back rain or sunshine for the just or the unjust; so my thought is that every good gift we receive comes from Him, even if we are not seeking Him. When we practice thanking Him, no matter what our situation, there is an in-road for His Spirit to draw us into true gratitude, and somehow that can ignite faith that makes us well.<br /><br />Our pastor recently asked us to write down some of the things we are thankful for, ways that God has shown up throughout our lives, and so here is my list. I am sharing it with you in hopes that you might consider making your own list. My list is more chronological than by importance, and each of these things is a story or memoir yet to be written, so stay tuned! <br /><br />As we write our lists may the Lord make all of our hearts truly grateful. May we come to see that it is by Him we live and breathe and have our being.<br /><br />I am thankful for<br /><br />1) parents who love me and taught me what a relationship with the Living God through Jesus looked like by their life examples.<br /><br />2) a brother who truly loves me and admires me even when I don’t deserve it.<br /><br />3) a chance to travel and live in another country far away from the culture I grew up in so that I could really see the goodness of God.<br /><br />4) a second chance to follow Jesus and a clear understanding that the path He chose for me is more desirable than any other path I might chose for myself.<br /><br />5) hope that does not disappoint.<br /><br />6) good friends and mentors who push me toward truth and challenge me to live my life according to my deepest convictions.<br /><br />7)a good education.<br /><br />8) a chance to run cross country for high school and college; it was while running God revealed to me some of my deepest understandings of relationship with him.<br /><br />9) failure because it forced me to find hope beyond my circumstances.<br /><br />10) countless opportunities to share my stories with people, so they can see how well God loves.<br /><br />11) a chance to teach and mentor young people.<br /><br />12) 11 to 15 year olds because I like who I am with that age group.<br /><br />13) a full house, plenty of food, and music…in short I am thankful for good parties, both planned and unplanned!<br /><br />14) a husband who loves me and helps me laugh at the quirkiness of life when I’m tempted to take things too seriously; all the moments in public and private that my husband and I get to share together.<br /><br />15) in-laws who are kind and more generous with themselves and their lives than I deserve or could ever hope for.<br /><br />16) three good children and the hope for more someday.<br /><br />17) a chance to pass on to my children what was given to me.<br /><br />18) a burden to care and a heart to pray.<br /><br />19) that I was expected to memorize scripture all my life, because when my spirit was awakened by the Holy Spirit, it was through the scripture that I memorized He most often spoke to my heart.<br /><br />20) a chance to love and serve and grow in a community of people who want to know and follow Jesus.<br /><br />21) the opportunity to write.<br /><br />22) dreams that I know will be fulfilled either in this life or the next!<br /><br />23) friends who take time to listen to my dreams and thoughts and hopes and fears.<br /><br />24) prayer partners.<br /><br />25) all of the little daily ways the Lord is constantly showing up and telling me He loves me, relieving my fears, giving me rest, placing me in intimate moments, revealing Himself through the mundane and the miraculous, making me constantly aware that He will never leave me.<br /> <br />I asked Thomas if he thought I forgot anything. He said, “I’m sure you did.”<br /><br />“Can you think of anything?” I asked.<br /><br />“Nope.”<br /><br />So, for today, that’s the list…of course it will always be a work in progress. <br /><br />Please share some of yours with me. I love to know the joy in other people’s lives.Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-7399049097781573492009-11-10T09:11:00.009-06:002009-11-10T15:13:08.602-06:00Kindred SpiritsWhen I was 11 years old, the Disney Channel aired a mini-series called “Anne of Green Gables” and its sequel mini-series “Anne of Avonlea.” My mom taped both series, and there began my deep love for Anne Shirley. I watched those tapes countless times, I read the original books, and I daydreamed about moving to Prince Edward Island. In fact, my cousin Maggie and I had a plan to open a deli on Prince Edward Island where we would serve stuffed olives and sandwiches and meet our own “Gilbert Blithes.” If you have never seen this series or read these books, you are either seriously deprived, or a guy. So if you are a guy, I forgive you. If you are female, you MUST see this series at some point soon (Netflix or Blockbuster are calling your name), and read at least the first “Anne book” by L.M. Montgomery. I know you won’t be sorry.<br /><br />The idea of a <span style="font-style:italic;">kindred spirit</span> came from these stories. Anne was always on the hunt for kindred spirits. They were more than just what some might term <span style="font-style:italic;">best friends</span>. They were people with whom she felt a deep connection and with whom she felt safe and secure to be herself who understood the world as a place filled with hope and romantic possibilities. In the stories, she often found kindred spirits in the most surprising places and the most surprising people. Many kindred spirits never stayed around long enough to become truly close friends, but there was always an unspoken deep understanding with those <span style="font-style:italic;">of the race that knew Joseph</span> (as another character in the books called them). <br /><br />When I look back on my childhood, I did not have very many kindred spirits before my teenage years. I was sort of a strange child, who most people did not understand. In fact I can think of only one girl who would fit the bill, but her parents did not like me. I think it was because I talked too much. And maybe because I told them I didn’t like their butter, which happened to be cream cheese, on one particular visit to this friend’s house. <br /><br />This girl, Amy, pulled me aside one Sunday after church and told me that she could no longer be my friend because her parents did not like me. She felt so bad, but had to tell me because she did not want me to think it was her who didn’t like me. She said she knew her parents just didn’t understand me. We were both sad. I never told anyone, partly because I was afraid she might get into trouble for telling me, and partly because I did not know how to put into words my emotions over the matter. I liked Amy tremendously. I understood that she really loved me, and I never once felt ill will toward her. She was a truly kind girl. Perhaps we’ll meet again someday.<br /><br />That was around 3rd grade, 1983/84. Of course, I had several play mates, and never lacked for love from my family, but I think my lost friendship with Amy awakened the possibility that there were really people who understood me somewhere in this world. After experiencing Anne of Green Gables, the longing to find these people intensified. Several times I thought I had found the real thing, but discovered those friendships lacking either because of betrayal or what I will term <span style="font-style:italic;">suffocation</span>. Some people feign a kindred spirit, but in reality they are insecure and lost and masters at being who other people want them to be in order to slowly leach the life out of more stable people. They may not fully understand what they are doing, but unguarded relationships with these people leads to co-dependence and idolatry (putting something or someone in the place of God in our hearts).<br /> <br />I have always been, of course, an extreme extrovert, so, I rarely worried over whether my friends were kindred spirits; I just enjoyed the company of the people I knew. I had the confidence in most cases to overcome betrayal and keep <span style="font-style:italic;">suffocation</span> at arms distance. In general I was perfectly happy and found my like minded friends in books and daydreams.<br /><br />Then in 8th grade, I met Jennifer George. Jennifer George befriended me on my first day of school at Bethel Christian Academy (BCA). I had recently transferred to this school in Lancaster, California after homeschooling in 6th grade and attending another private school in 7th grade, which my mom found severely lacking in several areas. BCA was much stricter than most private schools in its behavioral standards, but produced students of higher academic ability. <br /><br />I remember feeling awkward that first day of school. I wore a new dress and was eager to make friends, but I held back because I felt ugly. My face was a mess of pimples, my hair was extraordinarily frizzy and really the beginning of puberty just left me somewhat insecure. The fact that <span style="font-style:italic;">anyone</span> would talk to me was a relief, but Jennifer was not just <span style="font-style:italic;">anyone</span>. She was well known and well respected by teachers and students. She was a cheerleader, which I admired deeply. She was friendly and warm, and I knew I was privileged to be in her company. She invited me to eat lunch with her and Sarah DiGiovani. I gladly accepted.<br /><br />Those lunches together became a constant in 8th grade. We had more fun than I can truly describe in words here. I remember often laughing until I cried. Once I even fell out of my chair laughing from the stories we told about our lives. We bounced around ideas and dreams and thoughts. We wrote poetry and debated theology and theories and then laughed some more. Jennifer and I <span style="font-style:italic;">got</span> each other. <br /><br />Thinking back on those days, I am humbled and grateful all over again. Jennifer was a master at recognizing kindred spirits. I really think that it was from her I learned how to see people more clearly. She taught me how to be myself and draw people out of pretense so they could be themselves. I can’t say that I always treated our friendship with the utmost respect or care, but I am grateful that love covers a multitude of sins, and that today we have re-connected and are once again friends. Truly, I believe, once a kindred spirit always a kindred spirit!<br /><br />After embarking on friendship with Jennifer George, it seemed that suddenly the world was full of kindred spirits. True kindred spirits will do that—open the world for you. I found one in the woman we carpooled with to school, Tami Vincent. I found them in teachers and classmates and neighbors. It seemed that the best thing for drawing out kindred spirits was to be real and open and sincere. When I approached people with sincerity and was secure in myself, they often met me with open hearts. <br /><br />From time to time, I still ran across betrayal and <span style="font-style:italic;">suffocation</span>, and sadly, I was not always the victim, but occasionally the perpetrator of those in my weaker life moments. Still, after wallowing in those moments, I knew how to look for the place of peace and security, found in surrender to my Creator. He ultimately drew me back to a place of hope and set me in the company of people who understood. There I found I could still carry on and offer trust to a community of kindred spirits with whom I related.<br /><br />These days, I cannot imagine life without true friends and kindred spirits. The more I put my hope in Jesus, the more he draws me into relationship with people who see life and the world as a place for growing and overcoming. The catch for me is always choosing Him above the relationships with the people I love. Yet that very act seems to make my relationship with those people deeper, richer, and fuller.<br /> <br />To all my dear kindred spirits (you know who you are!), I say, thank you for walking through life with me and teaching me so much about love and friendship along the way. May our eyes always be on Jesus so we may find the abundance He offers.Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-59998003567319076832009-11-05T09:32:00.006-06:002009-11-05T09:48:50.202-06:00My ChiliFall is upon us. This is my favorite time of year, even though I have never lived where there are an abundance of color changing trees. Just the nippy morning air and the faded sunshine make me feel alive. Another reason I love Fall is because it is chili weather. People traditionally hold chili contests during the cold football season, and this is when I work on perfecting my <span style="font-style:italic;">famous</span> chili! <br /><br />One of the best things about making chili is slow cooking it all day long. Coming home at the end of a hard day to the wonderful smells of slow cooked chili cannot be beat. My mom bought me a slow cooker as a graduation gift/house warming gift for my first apartment along with a cookbook she put together of all my favorite recipes from growing up (a very treasured item). The Slow Cooker is a 6 quart West Bend. I love this Slow Cooker. If I was forced to move and could only take one kitchen item with me, this would be <span style="font-style:italic;">IT</span>! My older version is not available these days (sadly because one perk of my cooker is that the lid can be used in the oven as a casserole dish!), but the newest models can be found at the <a href="http://www.focuselectrics.com/catalog.cfm?dest=dir&linkid=70&linkon=category"><span style="font-weight:bold;">West Bend</span> web site. (click to see!)<br /></a><br />I wish I could give one of these cookers to each of my readers, but instead I will give you my chili recipe, which might still bring a smile to you and your family. It can be used in any traditional crock pot or slow cooker. <br /><br />My chili recipe is an adaptation of a recipe found in the owners’ manual from my West Bend Slow Cooker. I have changed and altered this recipe to its current perfection; so although the basic outline is not mine, the unique subtlety of married flavors <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> mine! I cannot tell you how many long hard days suddenly felt better after coming home to great chili and good friends. I hosted countless chili parties and have entered and placed in many chili contests with my chili. Remembering the fall and winter seasons of my twenties go hand in hand with having chili parties where people would laugh and tell stories. So this is to all of you who have made fall and winter memories warm by sharing a bowl of chili and your friendship.<br /><br />Beth’s Famous Chili<br />Serves 8<br />Prep Time: 15-20 minutes<br />Crock Pot Cooking Time: 7-10 hours<br /><br />Ingredients:<br />2 lbs ground turkey or ground beef<br />1 ½ cups chopped onion<br />1 cup chopped green pepper<br />2 garlic cloves, finely cut<br />2 cans diced tomatoes (14 ½ oz each), undrained<br />2 cans black beans (15 oz each), undrained<br />2 tsp salt<br />2 Tbs chili powder<br />1 tsp pepper<br />1 tsp cumin (ground)<br />(Fresh serano peppers or crushed red pepper to taste—optional)<br /><br />Directions:<br />Brown ground meat thoroughly. <br />Dice onion, green pepper, and garlic cloves.<br />Add all ingredients to crock pot and cook on medium heat for 7-10 hours<br />Serve with rice or tortilla chips and shredded cheddar cheese.Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-26859574881965945822009-10-31T10:38:00.004-05:002009-10-31T10:56:48.673-05:00Living WaterJesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” -John 4:10<br /><br />A man’s heart plans his way, <br />But the LORD directs his steps. –Proverbs 16:9<br /><br />In May 1997, I received a bachelor of arts in Earth Science at Trinity University. After muddling around with thoughts of being a journalist, I sort of fell into the Geology Department at Trinity. I wasn’t great in the sciences and math, but I have always had a deep fondness for both because they seem to hold answers to questions I harbor in my heart about the earth and space. Truthfully, someone with a true science bend could find the answers I sought in a few well chosen books or by just subscribing to “Scientific American,” but the major enticed me through relationship. While working for the school yearbook, I interviewed several of the Geology professors. I fell in love with their warmth and generous spirit and decided to take a class, and then another, until, settling into a major through the department felt inevitable. I truly had a curiosity for rocks and geologic formations; I even wrote about this in my college entrance exam, but the relationships are what drew me. <br /><br />The Geology professors all loved a good discussion about life and philosophy and science. This was my favorite aspect of life in the Geology Department. None of them ever lorded themselves over a student or acted like they didn’t have time for my questions. In fact they really cared about their work and their students. With these professors I could ask questions freely and receive well thought out meaningful answers, or enter into a dialogue where my opinion was respected. This was so different than middle school and high school where my science teachers met me with blank stares and stumbled through ridiculous answers or babbled on in what seemed like another language that left me feeling as if I would never really get it. <br /><br />Most of my young adult life wrapped around a search for meaning and life purpose. I wanted the most out of life. I was introspective, yet unaware of myself because I could dream beyond myself so easily. After settling on Geology, I began to dream about graduate school and beyond. I heard about groups of people doing work in Uganda to help bring clean water systems to impoverished areas. This struck a chord in my heart. Providing clean water to everyone world-wide is really crucial work in treating the ill effects of poverty. This seemed to go hand in hand with my desire to make a lasting difference in people’s lives and in the world. I felt if I could meet people’s physical needs, I might also have opportunity to share my faith. Perhaps God would use me to meet both people’s physical and spiritual thirst which could in turn heal both their physical and spiritual sicknesses. I set my sights on becoming a Hydrologist and studying ground water systems. <br /><br />The practical work of a scientist and mathematician may be as far as one can get from relational work. Classes like Hydrology and Geomorphology quickly brought home the reality of life as a field geologist and mathematician. The majority of this work is done in labs and in front of a computer. Very little of it is conducted outdoors or through theoretical and philosophical discussion. I liked theory, not practical. I liked people and conversations, not long hours in a lab studying maps and specimens and running computer models. The first semester of my junior year was miserable. I spent long hours laboring over labs, homework, and studying. Most days of the week I pushed myself until early morning hours just to complete a class assignment and study. I slept only 4 to 6 hours a night and hoped to catch up on the weekend. This clearly was not my thing. But where did that leave me? I was already half way through college. It was too late to change majors and life direction if I ever wanted to finish in four years. <br /><br />The week before Thanksgiving, I had a sort of meltdown. On top of the sciences I also took an Ethics class that semester. My Ethics professor left a note on a journal assignment asking me to call and make an appointment to discuss my class journals. I called and he pressed for me to come in right away, which meant forgoing a small Geology Department get together before the holiday. In addition, I had just finished a discussion with my advisor about the possibility of withdrawing from a class. My 17 hour load of sciences and labs was clearly overwhelming. But withdrawing meant summer school and skipping coveted opportunities for geology related field work. I didn’t want to discuss Ethics journals. I wanted to go to the party and then brood about what all this meant in the face of my life purpose. I told my Ethics professor that I didn’t think I could make it in that day. “Couldn’t I come in the morning?” He insisted that I should come that afternoon, so I reluctantly agreed, feeling as though missing the party was a sign of missing out on the life of my dreams.<br /> <br />I remember walking to his office in the rain. My life seemed muddled and cloudy and messy, just like the world around me. My professor told me that my journals were not exactly what he was looking for. It seems that rather than taking an academic approach to philosophy, I was taking a personal approach and writing how I felt and what I personally thought about the applicability of each philosophy we read. He wanted something more abstract and distant. He wanted me to look at the philosophers outside myself. I started to cry. Humiliation and frustration and sadness overwhelmed me and I could not hold in the mess any longer. I tried to apologize and said, “I’m sorry, please go on, I know I can fix the journals, I’ve just had a really bad day.”<br /><br />What a kind man that professor proved to be. He finished describing how my journals should look while handing me a box of tissues, and then said, “Okay, now that we have that out of the way, what is happening in your life that is so troubling?” I reluctantly shared with him all the problems I faced and he said, “You’re trying to live and plan your whole life out in four years of college! You have no idea what to expect from life. And although life is short, you have plenty of time to finish school and travel the world and change your career and life goals over and over. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to figure it all out right now.”<br /><br />I left his office and withdrew from the Hydrology class that afternoon. The weights I had strapped to my back lessened a bit, and I began to pray about what God wanted from me. A woman at church pulled me aside not long after this. She said she felt like she needed to share a scripture with me from Matthew 6:33. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” So I continued to pray and did what I knew I could do by way of “seeking.”<br /><br />There were no lightning bolts or signs that showed me THE WAY, just a quiet question in my heart: “What did you enjoy from this semester?” There was not much. I had spent little time with my friends from all the studying I did. My classes were obviously not as rewarding as I imagined they would be. But there was one thing I truly looked forward to, without stress. About twice a month I mentored a small group of middle school students for 4 hours at a time through a program called “Saturday Morning Experience.” I planned activities and lessons for them that would extend their education outside the classroom. We went on fieldtrips and wrote plays and had fun. My first awakening into who I am and where I am gifted was rooted in mentoring that group of kids.<br /><br />At the close of the 1995 fall semester, I registered for spring classes and included a one hour education practicum class. I had taken a few education survey classes early on in college because teaching was always in the back of my mind, but had abandoned the idea to my dreams of providing fresh water for dying people. (Teaching did not seem nearly as noble as saving lives, as far as life purposes go!) That spring, the math teacher I had been observing fell ill and could not find a substitute teacher that felt comfortable in a math class. She asked me to teach a few of the classes with the substitute looking on. I agreed and set to work planning for the next day. I enjoyed myself and the classes I taught. The substitute used my lessons and example to teach the classes I could not attend. The following week my practicum teacher left a message for me. She expressed her gratitude and told me that after quizzing the students, not one was behind. They had all done well under my instruction. She said, “You’re a great teacher. Thank you.” It was the awakening I needed. I was a teacher. Why had I abandoned that? After praying and seeking wise counsel, I knew I needed to pursue a teaching degree. I didn’t know how it would all work out, but there was no longer any doubt about God’s direction. <br /><br />Trying to change the course of a degree usually means at the least an extra semester in college. My parents were not willing to pay for an extra semester at Trinity. I had to work it out to graduate on time. After pouring over the courses book and praying desperately that the Lord would work out the details, we found our answer! The year I entered school at Trinity (fall 1993) the Geology Department offered a BA in Earth Science. The degree was taken out of the course books in 1994, but because my first course book held that degree I could still pursue it! My advisor and I worked out a plan to change my major from a BS in Geology to a BA in Earth Science. This freed up space for me to take the necessary education classes. By some grand miracle, I only had to take one summer class to fit the education program into my major and graduate on time. <br /><br />After working toward a masters in teaching, teaching in the public schools, traveling the United States and the world, becoming a wife and a mom, starting a tutoring business, running a credit recovery program, teaching in a private school, and now staying home to take care of my family, home school, and write memoirs, I can see what my philosophy professor meant about life. I would add what Jesus said, though, to his wisdom: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” It is only Jesus who can offer what will quench the deep thirst of our hearts. Until I sought God’s perspective on my life, I couldn’t see my life. Life will just happen, and much of it we never could anticipate, but God sees what we do not. Truly, the scope and purpose to one person’s life cannot be figured out in a college degree or a career or a philosophy journal, but placing the HIGHEST importance on the one who is right and good and true will open doors that lead somewhere right and good and true. Walking those roads with others who also seek the paths of righteousness will allow for partnerships and shared loads. And one day, we will all look back and see that though our eyes were on the rulership of God, his eyes were on adding abundance and fulfillment to our lives.<br /> <br />As an after-thought to this memoir, our dreams sometimes have a way of presenting themselves in new forms. Although I will never dig wells in Africa, I recently came across a really great non-profit group that will: <a href="https://www.lifewater.org/">Lifewater International</a> (https://www.lifewater.org/). They are real people who traveled to Mexico in the late 1960s and saw a need they could meet. The Ashe family had a successful water pump business. Rather than horde their resources, they chose to give of themselves and donate their time and equipment to areas that needed clean water. This act of love and care developed into an international group dedicated to providing clean water and Living Water to poor areas all over the world. Although they reach the globe, the staff is personable and down to earth. They take the time to send hand written notes and each donation, no matter how small is received with gratitude. I believe this grass roots organization is making a difference, and I am blessed to support their work in any small way that I can. If you have a heart for the poor in this world, consider giving water through <a href="https://www.lifewater.org/">Lifewater International</a>.Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-25926513648667539482009-10-20T12:35:00.004-05:002009-10-20T14:46:58.640-05:00Home Schooling Progression<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> 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gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Home schooling seems to be a hot topic lately, at least in my circles of association. Personally, I have decided that the question is not whether <i style="">to</i> <i style="">home school</i>, but whether to home school <i style="">full time or part time</i>. Where ever our children go, whoever they encounter, their relationship with us, as their parents, and what we teach will influence their lives and decisions more than any other relationship or experience until adulthood. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">With that in mind, we recently made the decision to home school our children full time. This was not a decision made lightly or without great consideration about every option.<span style=""> </span>My mom taught me and my brother for my 6<sup>th</sup> grade school year and my brother’s kindergarten year. She was a pioneer of sorts, and felt a great deal more pressure than I will ever feel as a <i style="">home schooling mom</i>. <span style=""> </span>It was a rough transition from traditional schooling to full time home schooling for both me and my mom. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Looking back, I’m grateful for what my mom endured. My dad says I learned self discipline and the art of writing a term paper that school year. Both of which have served me well. My brother finished the year with a brilliance that motivated him to love learning all through school and beyond. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Despite those successes, my parents decided to drive the 45 minutes into town to send us to a Christian private school the next school year. They came to this decision most probably because of the isolation I felt during 6<sup>th</sup> grade and the ways I took out my difficult transition on my mom.<span style=""> </span>(I could tell a few stories about cheating and cutting corners, but we’ll save that for another memoir.) Although I was involved in sports and scouts and church groups, the kids in those groups did not relate to me, and I felt awkward. At the private school, I felt normal, again. This experience colored the idea of home schooling for me. I resolved to never <i style="">torture</i> my own children by trying to home school them.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I grew up to be a teacher, and after countless education courses, a one year internship in an inner-city school, a masters degree, seven years of teaching in the public schools, starting a tutoring business, and teaching part time in a private school, my opinion on what was good for kids began to change. I made a careful study of the kids who were honest, respectful, and kind, as well as good students. Then I watched their parents: how the parents interacted with their kids and with me. I could see that the parents who actively poured themselves into their kids in positive ways through care and loving discipline were most likely to have kids with good attitudes and happy hearts. To me, it was clear which students came from happy homes where parents were often present and took interest in the lives of their kids. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">This all led to my <i style="">home schooling</i> <i style="">realization</i>. All along I was re-evaluating my youthful resolve against home schooling. And when Caleb was born, after a significant encounter with God, Thomas and I decided that being home for my kids and my family was an essential element in raising a happy family. I knew that whether I sent my kids to public or private school or kept them home, I would be there to teach them, to learn with them, to help them process what they were learning. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Caleb asked me to teach him how to read just before he turned five. It was right around that time we decided to home school full time. Previously, I felt that as a secondary teacher I would be bored teaching elementary school. I was afraid boredom would color my attitude and in turn color my children’s thoughts on learning. I prayed that the Lord would change my attitude in this area as it became clearer we would home school full time. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">My mom gave me the phonics program she used with my brother, and I started teaching Caleb to read. The first change in my heart came when I noticed that if I spent 20 minutes to an hour with Caleb in the morning working on “school” the rest of the day went more smoothly. He was more willing to follow my plan for the day when I spent a bit of time devoted completely to him teaching him to read. Alina showed a good deal of enthusiasm for school, as well. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">During those first few months, I came across a Homeschool Company called <a href="http://www.sonlight.com/rewards/EH20283128">Sonlight </a>through some friends who also home schooled full time. This group and the curriculum plans they provide intrigued me, so we invested in the kindergarten core plan. All I can say is that through this program, the Lord continued to answer my prayers! The <a href="http://www.sonlight.com/rewards/EH20283128">Sonlight Curriculum</a> motivates me. I love it. I love it so much, I don’t want to send my kids to regular school because they will miss out on an AMAZING learning experience through the books and layout I know they won't receive in traditional school. My heart continues to change as I watch my kids engage learning with excitement. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have completely shifted from my “anti-home schooling” declarations as a young girl to wondering how I could ever send my kids to traditional school! I don’t want to miss out on them. Teaching Caleb to read is more rewarding than I once realized it could be. Watching my children enjoy the projects we plan and spending special time together reading and talking about stories or cultures or history is so precious. <span style=""> </span>Of course, it helps that we are also part of a larger community of families who home school full and part time! My kids don’t feel strange, like I did in the mid nineteen-eighties. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">We are committed this year to homeschooling, to actively pursuing friendships and outside the home learning opportunities for the whole family, and to making learning a constant process that flows with everyday life. Caleb is in soccer with a local church. We’ve set up field trips and get togethers with other home schooling families. We’ve scheduled specific blocks of time for direct teaching and reading and practice of our studies. We have a never ending list of projects. And we are having fun. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Within this progression, I am open to change in the schooling plan for our kids’ futures. I feel certain that the Holy Spirit will direct us in the best course for our kids and our family. Thomas and I realize that we alone stand before God as stewards of the children He has put in our care. We are seeking Him on the ways He wants us to instruct our children. One thing I am convinced of is that we will be home schooling whether or not our kids step foot into a traditional school. Parents are the single most influential adults in a young person’s life. I want my kids to know that I’m there. I can only do that by being there.<span style=""> </span></p>
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<br /><a href="http://www.sonlight.com/rewards/EH20283128"><img src="https://www.sonlight.com/images/banner-full-468x60.gif" alt="Sonlight Curriculum" border="0" /></a>
<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-15339259162458819402009-10-16T02:21:00.007-05:002009-10-16T02:48:37.918-05:00Books I LoveI love to read. My favorite books are well written fiction chapter books for children and middle schoolers: the ones with the great plots and fascinating characters. My second favorite books are books about a girl or woman (or sometimes a man or group of people) who faces extreme difficulties and overcomes them in some out of the ordinary way. These can be fiction or non-fiction. My third favorite read these days are parenting or teaching books or articles that are TRULY practical…theoretical doesn’t do it for me, because I’m in the daily battle to be a good mom; I need practical wisdom that will help me today. Fourth, I love missionary stories. I was introduced to these early on and they always move me to tears.<br /><br />The following is a short list of some of my favorites in no particular order. If you haven’t read these, get your library card out and read them…they are all fun, inspirational, challenging, moving, and drive the reader to be great and do great things!<br /><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;">Anything by Katherine Patterson— </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Bridge to Terabithia</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">; </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Jacob have I loved</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />The Chronicles of Narnia</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by C.S. Lewis</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Little House… Books</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Laura Ingles Wilder</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Mary on Horseback</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Rosemary Wells</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Heidi</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Johanna Spyri</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Secret Garden</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Frances Hodgson Burnett</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Lewis Carroll</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Cricket in Times Square</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by George Selden</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Princess and the Goblin</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by George McDonald</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIHM</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Robert C. O’brien</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Charlotte’s Web</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> By E.B. White</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Hatchet by Gary</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> Paulsen</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Because of Winn Dixie</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Kate DiCamillo</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Anne of Green Gables</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Lucy Maud Montgomery</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Little Women</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Louisa May Alcott</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Mildred Taylor</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Beauty</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Robin McKinley</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Pollyanna</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Eleanor (Hodgman) Porter</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Book of Ruth</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> from the Bible</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Book of Esther</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> from the Bible</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">1st and 2nd Samuel</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> from the Bible</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Book of Acts</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> from the Bible</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Not without My Daughter</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Betty Mahmoody and William Hoffer</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Chasing the Dragon</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Jackie Pullinger</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Passion a</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">nd Purity</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Elizabeth Elliot</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Hiding Place</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Corrie Ten Boom (</span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.corrietenboom.com/">http://www.corrietenboom.com/</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">)</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">An American Childhood</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Annie Dillard</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Diary of Anne Frank</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Anne Frank</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">The Lord of the Rings</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> Series by J.R.R. Tolkien</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Bridget Jones’s Diary</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Helen Fielding</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Bleachers</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by John Grisham</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">A Tale of Two Cities</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Charles Dickens</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">A Christmas Carol</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Charles Dickens</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Nothing's Impossible: Leadership Lessons from Inside and Outside the Classroom</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Lorraine Monroe (</span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.lorrainemonroe.com/">http://www.lorrainemonroe.com/</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">)</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Molder of Dreams</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Guy Rice Doud</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Multiple Intelligences</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Howard Gardner</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Teaching with Love and Logic</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Jim Fay and David Funk</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">In the Middle</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Nancie Atwell</span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;">Anything by Michael and Debbie Pearl—“No Greater Joy” magazine</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">; To Train Up a Child</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">; Created to Be His Helpmeet</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> (</span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/">http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">)</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Marc MP Weissbluth (</span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.familysleep.com/">http://www.familysleep.com/</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">)</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Secrets of the Baby Whisperer</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Tracy Hogg (</span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.babywhisper.com/">http://www.babywhisper.com/</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">)</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">I Heard Good News Today, Stories for Children</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> by Cornelia Lehn</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Foxe’s Book of Martyrs</span><br /><br />There are probably more…but these are the ones I can’t put down for sure.<br />What’s on your list?Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-84035640152546874412009-10-13T15:21:00.009-05:002009-10-13T15:43:44.133-05:00Coming Home<meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CThomas%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" 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class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Where is home? That is a hard question for a “military brat.” Most often I told people I was from California; that is where we always went when my dad had leave. We visited my grandparents there and I felt at home in their home. My grandpa used to come into the kitchen while I was eating a snack or a meal and teasingly say, “Did I take you to raise?” meaning, am I feeding you now, too? Why don’t you just move in, then? </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I would smile and say, “Yep, Grandpa!” </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I was home. He loved me and would do anything to “take me to raise.” My parents and my brother seemed equally at ease there. At my grandparent’s house we felt loved; we understood the rules, spoken and unspoken; and we were able to rest there—far from the worries of the world. The Californian culture felt normal to us. The way people spoke and interacted with one another felt natural. Everywhere else felt a bit strange. It made sense to call that place home. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">In 2007 both my grandparents passed away, within 6 months of one another. After my grandmother’s passing, home seemed sad. But after my grandfather’s passing, it was no longer home. Ever since, I have been pondering the question, “where is home?” </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I quickly moved to the idea of “home” being among the people who love and accept one another. I re-calculated my life in this new idea with my immediate family in the position of “home.” This wasn’t hard. Physical places never meant as much to me as the people who lived there. It made sense. Wherever we traveled around the world, we carved out our own little space. A few things were never lost in a move: love, care, shared experiences, etc. When I was far away from my family, “home” was where ever they lived. When I married Thomas and we began our own family, “home” transferred to him. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I decided in my heart that what made California “home” was really just my grandparents. The culture and the scenery didn’t mean much without them there. <span style=""> </span>Clearly, I only felt at home in California because they loved me so well. In some ways, I took their love for granted. I thought it would always be right there in Modesto, California for me to go back to. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">My recent “loss of home” in the death of my grandparents exemplifies the main difficulty in letting the people we love be “home.” There is no permanent place of residence. People cannot be stable or constant forever. Not just because of death, but because of misunderstanding, or disappointment, or difference of opinion. There is just no security in a home made of flesh. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I did not let my thoughts drift to the downfalls of making people “home,” though, until just recently. <span style=""> </span>I was reading Psalm 91 to my children and something spoke to me. I am very familiar with the Psalm. I had memorized it as a child, and I ponder over it and pray parts of it so often, it feels like it is a part of me.<span style=""> </span>Surprisingly, one of the themes of the Psalm is making the Lord God our dwelling place, or our “home”! I had not seen that in the Psalm before. Sure I was well versed in the ideas that this place is not our home; that we are strangers in a strange land; but somehow that did not play out in my everyday life. It was ethereal or religious ideology. Suddenly, I longed to know what it meant to make God my “home,” my dwelling place. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I prayed that night, “Please show me what it means to dwell in you, Lord.” And over the past few months the idea makes more sense almost daily! He is stable; He never changes; He never leaves me; He is faithful to His promises; I can sit in His presence and know who I am, where I’ve come from, and where I am going. If I see myself through Him, as a product of His loving kindness, then I am confident in the tasks I have before me. If I seek to make my home in Him more beautiful, then I am doing eternal work that cannot be undone. It is the only relationship that will not falter, and all my other relationships are better when I find myself at home in Him. I am better when I <i style="">come from</i> Him than when I <i style="">come from</i> anywhere else. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">This insight is new, yet there is a familiarity to it, like it is actually something God has been helping me learn my whole life. I have caught glimpses of the lesson here and there, but I see it most clearly now. That gives me the opportunity to actively choose God as my permanent residence. Choosing to be <i style="">from God</i> colors everything I do. He defines how I act and react to my surroundings just like any culture would define anyone. <span style=""> </span>If I make Him my dwelling place, then my responses originate from Him. I think that security is the first and most underlying result of living in Him. Security allows me to stand in greater confidence, peace, hope, and an ability to love. When I am dissatisfied with this world, I will not despair, because it is not my home. I can look at this world objectively and respond in love rather than hurt. This world and the people in it are not accountable for my well being. They may not respond in Him, but I can.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">My ability to make a choice to dwell in God became amazingly real when I decided to open a “Facebook” account on September 26<sup>th</sup>, 2009. Looking through my email later that day caused me to catch my breath. I had over 60 messages declaring people as my <i style="">friends</i>, people I had not heard from in ten to fifteen years. More announcements came by the scores every hour after that for a few days. I truly had this overwhelming sense of “<i style="">I’m home</i>!” rush over me, like a little sliver of heaven was thrust in my direction. I sincerely believe I felt a bit of what stepping into eternity in Christ must be like: to suddenly see the great cloud of witnesses and know I am home. Then I reconsidered.<span style=""> </span>Heaven may be like opening a “Facebook” account for the first time, seeing everyone you have missed and have not spoken to for many years, but the real coming home will be Jesus, seeing His dear precious face and hearing Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” And that is what I choose. I choose to be <i style="">from Him</i> so that I may always go home <i style="">to Him</i>.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” <span style=""> </span>John 15:9</p> Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-68707543577771100862009-09-18T09:01:00.002-05:002009-09-18T09:02:12.259-05:00Cows and Pools and Grandma!<div style="margin: 1ex;"> <div> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">It’s been a little while since our family vacationed anywhere. We decided to get away this past Labor Day weekend to the Texas Hill Country, about an hour outside our home in San Antonio. I love road trips. Thomas and I dream about RVs and traveling all over the US to see everything and everyone. Because my recent pregnancy had me slightly confined for nearly a year, driving out on the open road, even for an hour, thrilled my heart. We were on an adventure with our three kids in tote. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">The original plan was to spend the whole vacation visiting with Thomas’ grandma, letting her get acquainted with our newborn, one month old Levi. After a bit of discussion with family members, we opted for a much shorter visit with Grandma and a longer detour into the small German town of Fredericksburg. We realized that seeing our family for an entire weekend might be too much of a good thing for Grandma, and we didn’t want to overwhelm her. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">We didn’t come to this decision until the night before we left, so finding a hotel room in a very popular little get-away town proved slightly difficult with elevated prices and not much room in the inn. We finally found a room at the Hampton Inn. It was their last room with only one King size bed; but the hotel had a great pool, so we packed the kids’ sleeping bags and set out for a fine emprise. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">As long as we have small children, I will always stay at the Hampton Inn in Fredericksburg. Their pool proved the biggest hit of the weekend. What fun. There was a bridge over the pool, a large waterfall feature with two places to swim under the falls, floating toys to ride on, and best of all a high water slide. The atmosphere was serene and accommodating for both children and adults. In fact, being there made me appreciate the fact that we hadn’t gotten out in a long time. Our kids were so grateful and joyful. It was a true treat. We swam and swam, watched movies and Discovery channel, ate usually forbidden snacks, went window shopping in the little town, and swam some more. The pool was such a hit, the kids talked about it non-stop. Caleb kept asking if we could live there in what he called the "apartment.” Apparently the thought of sleeping on the floor forever was overshadowed by the pool. He kept asking me, “Isn’t this the nicest apartment, mom? Don’t you love it?” </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">All I could do was smile and say, “Yes, Caleb, it is fun, isn’t it?” Thomas and I finally gave up trying to explain to Caleb that people just didn’t live in hotels, that it would be too expensive. We had to settle for, “Maybe we’ll get to come back here someday. You pray that Jesus gives us the opportunity!” To which he immediately set to praying. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Finally, we drove a short ways to Kerrville to visit with Grandma over Sonic hamburgers. We always love those visits. We took several pictures of the kids with their 90 year old Great Grandma and chatted about events and people and the way things used to be. We thought it was the perfect end to a perfect weekend. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Little did we know that the adventures were far from over. Just before heading back to San Antonio, we stopped in to say hi to Thomas’ aunt and uncle. Uncle Sam (yes, we actually have one!) gave Thomas directions for a scenic “short cut” back to San Antonio. We decided to try it since we were in no rush to be home. Thomas said, “This will either save us thirty minutes or cost us an extra hour.” </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Rather than costing us an extra hour, we spent an extra unexpected two hours on an exciting escapade, wondering if we would ever see civilization again! Clearly we were lost. For a long leg of this journey, we drove at 15mph on an unpaved road where herds of cattle crossed back and forth. We talked about the possibility of having to settle there in the uncharted territory should we never reach the paved road. For some reason turning back seemed ridiculous to both Thomas and me. So we made command decisions on which roads to take based on the location of the setting sun and our estimation of where San Antonio was located in proximity to us. Things like littered beer cans gave us hope that not just cows walked this lonely stretch of unpaved trail. We hoped that we weren’t trespassing when we passed signs for a ranch, and discussed whether Texans were more likely to shoot first or say “howdy” when encountering trespassers. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Finally, we hit paved road, with a bit of sadness at the end of a true adventure. We decided to extend the trip another two hours by stopping in at my parents house, when we found the paved road back into San Antonio passed close to their home just outside of the city, west of where we would have come back into town if we had taken the road more traveled by. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Now we’re back, nearly in the swing of things. Piles of laundry, pictures on the digital camera, and some lasting memories are all that are left of a small holiday in the country. I’m truly grateful for a husband with whom I share an adventurous spirit and a love for family and friends. My life is abundant and full. </span></p> </div> </div>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-71632120325766525482009-09-18T09:01:00.001-05:002009-09-18T09:01:42.272-05:00Lessons in Love<div style="margin: 1ex;"> <div> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">All my life I escaped to fantasies. I daydreamed of being beautiful, being loved, being the center of someone’s world. I imagined what circumstances would lead me to a deep satisfying relationship with the man of my dreams, where we would live, and how I would be fulfilled. It always seemed harmless. Often I would insert my current crush into each scenario and comfort myself with ideas of his affection. I was more often than not able to separate the fantasy from the reality. There really seemed no cause for concern. In fact, it is probably a common pastime of any normal unmarried girl or woman beginning around age 10. I was normal, but the reality is that this normal is problematic. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">I recognized it as a problem one day, at age 24, when I caught myself daydreaming about a friend on whom I held a secret crush. He had recently become engaged, and I felt a twinge of guilt. I had few boundaries in my daydreams, and engaged or married men were definitely beyond the boundary. What was more, just before this man became engaged, I had an open opportunity to reveal my crush and see where it might lead. In agony I had prayed that the Lord would give me wisdom, knowing my actions could cause huge problems for this friend and his girlfriend. The strong impression on my heart was to let him go. I knew it was the Holy Spirit prompting the impression, because although I felt the weight of sadness, I also knew a gentle peace at the wisdom of the thought. There was no guilt or condemnation, just a pure reality that this man was not mine. So later, when I found myself entangled in a daydream with my friend as the star, I knew I was wrong. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">I must have prayed something like, “Jesus, I’m sorry. Help me not to do that, I know he’s not mine,” when another strong impression hit me. “Why is it more wrong for you to daydream about this man than any other man?” It never occurred to me that I was playing with people in my mind as if they belonged to me, when in reality no one really belongs to me. I tried right at that moment to stop daydreaming. The attempt led to one failure after another. I was addicted to this form of self soothing. It was the balm I used to hide a broken heart. I wrestled with myself and was defeated time after time. I hated my daydreams now, but could not escape them. The chains of failure weighed me down, and I felt lost and hopeless in this battle. I did not know who to talk to. I was ashamed of my problem. Finally, after several days of this, I found myself praying quietly after church, “Jesus, I can’t do this by myself. Help me. Who should I talk to? Who will understand and really help me?” </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">I turned to the side of the church and noticed an older woman in her 70’s. Her name was Jody Lundy. She was recently widowed, and that was all I really knew about her. But she glowed with a joy that was supernatural. She stood out so strongly, that I found myself compelled to go to her. I didn’t know what to say, and really could not bring myself to a full confession, but the Lord knew my heart and had grace on me. The conversation went something like this:</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“Hi, Jody.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“Oh, hi Beth! How are you?”</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“Well, I’m struggling with something and I feel like God wants me to talk to you about it.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“Okay!?”</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“I keep having these thoughts, and I don’t know how to get rid of them.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“Well, when that happens to me I just imagine a great big animal cage with Jesus standing outside. If I have a thought, I say, ‘No that belongs to Jesus,’ and I imagine myself putting the thought in the animal cage and Jesus closing it. If the thought comes back, I do it, again. In fact, I keep doing it every time it comes back. If it comes back 15 times in one minute, I put it in the cage 15 times and eventually, it stops coming back.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">“Thanks, Jody,” I smiled at her, realizing that was the most practical advice anyone could ever give me. It reminded me of a verse I had memorized several years earlier that spoke of bringing every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I immediately set to work on my fantasies, “putting them in the cage,” taking them captive to the obedience of Christ. It brought me the freedom I needed, more quickly than I would have expected. I had escaped the ugliness of self-indulgence. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">To this day, I use this practical wisdom for any thoughts that enter my head, good and bad. When my thoughts are in Jesus’ control, I respond in faith and love rather than fear and uncertainty. I also have a good friendship with Jody. She is a great wise woman, full of the Holy Spirit and willing to follow His direction in her life. It has still taken me some time to talk freely about the sin in my life. But the closer I get to Jesus, the less concerned I am about how people would judge me. I become more and more consumed with being free. I know that it is only Jesus’ love that could bring me to this place. </span></p> </div> </div>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6743242671098131372.post-82485846563129927242009-09-18T08:58:00.000-05:002009-09-18T08:59:45.968-05:00The Mixer Mishap and Freedom<div style="margin: 1ex;"> <div> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">The Mixer Mishap and Freedom</span></p><p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">This is dedicated to Tia Booker. May our paths cross again someday. I miss you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">You might have heard a story about a girl whose lip stuck to a hand held mixer attachment when she inadvertently flipped the ON switch while licking the irresistible cookie dough clinging to the end of the attachment? The story is true. That was me, when I was 13 years old. For about 3 or 4 years that was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. I shivered with horror at myself, often recalling the look of shock and awe on my then 7 year old brother’s face when he came running out with my parents to see what I was screaming about! His mouth, wide open, suggested I had embarked on the most wonderfully horrific trauma any young boy could dream up! I’m sure I swore him to secrecy when I had the presence of mind to talk with him. The worst of the story is that my parents could not detach the metal spiral mixing part from my lip, and my mom rushed me to the ER with the part still clinging tightly to my face. I think it was the most exciting emergency those medics had encountered in a long time, from the way they jumped at the chance to relieve my pain. It is still to this day the only time I have not had to wait for health care at an emergency room. Still, at 13, I would have given almost anything to have stayed home without the humiliation of 50 plus people witnessing my ridiculous lack of sense. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">For years I held this story in the secret place of my heart, where all humiliation tries to hide. I heard my fair share of teasing from family, but they seemed to know this was not a story they could share with the outside world without ruining my fragile soul. So the humor was lost in secrecy until my junior year of high school. I can’t recall if I was 16 or had just turned 17, but that school year I took a drama class. The class was different than any other class I had ever taken. On many counts we were expected to be fully vulnerable. The teacher tried to create a safe environment by having us all contract at the beginning of the school year to never tell other people’s stories from the class unless we had specific permission from that person. She reminded us of this contract often. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">One day, the daily journal assignment was to write out our most embarrassing moment. I hesitated before I wrote out the story. How would my classmates perceive me if she made us read aloud? It could not be helped. I had to be honest. So with trembling fingers I wrote down every detail of that night. I fought back tears when my teacher said we needed to read our stories to the class, using the dramatic storytelling skills. Bravely, I stood up and recalled to an entire class something I had never told a soul. The students tried to hold back the giggles as I set the stage and described the scene forcing myself to turn my fear and humiliation into acting energy. Finally, my friend, Tia Booker, guffawed loudly at the end of my tale. The whole class burst into uproarious laughter; even the teacher could not hold back her smiles. I could either laugh with them or cry; I chose to laugh. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Tia caught my arm as class ended and said, “Beth! That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. You HAVE to let me tell my friends. They won’t believe it.” </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">“No,” I shook my head. “I’ve never told anyone that story. It’s way too embarrassing.” Tia was relentless. She begged and begged. I wisely perceived that she was about to tell the story with or without my permission, so I said, “OK. But you have to let me tell it.” I felt only a small sense of power, knowing that if <i>I</i> revealed my secret there would be little to no giggling behind my back. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Tia quickly pulled together a small group of people after school, and for the second time in my life, I told the unbelievable tale of a 13 year old girl who licked a live mixer and suffered atrocities comedians only dream of. By the end of my junior year every single student in the school and many of the teachers asked me to tell the story. By the end of my senior year I had written the story out for a regional dramatic original story telling competition and won second place. I had turned a horrible humiliation into something people raved about. I had found security in making people laugh by letting them into the secret places of my heart and laughing at myself. They related to me, rather than rejecting me for my weaknesses. It was my first lesson in being myself and letting my humanity just be what it was. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">Recently, I recounted the story for a small group at a party. A wise woman in the group asked me, “Was that a difficult event for you emotionally? It must have left a big mark on you at 13.” </span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:85%;">“Yes,” I responded with certainty. “It was the most embarrassing event of my life, until a drama teacher assigned my class to tell our most embarrassing moment, and a friend begged me to tell her friends, and I won second place for the story in a story telling competition.” It occurred to me then, that this story tied into a bigger picture, where I am being asked on a regular basis to trade beauty for ashes; something ugly becomes something wonderful; and weakness laid bare in the Creator’s hand gives way to freedom.</span></p> </div> </div>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687419560600834585noreply@blogger.com3